Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A "Family & Life Hacker" speaks on Navigating the Family.

Notes from Marc Sr. -
A Family & Life Hacker
from Cape Town, ZA

TIME-IN versus 'time-out".... 

With the question of how to NAVIGATE OUR HOMES AND HOMELIFE ... open to so much discussion. With the question of "how to discipline children" in a post-modern society still under the most 'heated discussions' - at least - in some circles - hearing the views of a "Family & Life Hacker" speaking on Navigating the Family... has some value! With most of society now opposed to corporeal punishment: spankings and the such...  I am sure that the problem of establishing character in our children remains a serious issue and worthy of discussion.

The Scriptures are relatively clear (if you actually read them:  Proverbs refers to this controlled correction: 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15; and, to the value of corrective teaching 15:5, 10, 12, 32-33) - clear, that is ....that in terms of NAVIGATION - correction is necessary. Correction is, [at least for many and to some or another degree or in certain occassions,] speaking of finding a way to communicate that in life there is a cost - a physical cost - to mankinds disobedience. Simple 'cause and effect' needs (at least) to be considered - if possible without having to learn the truth by your family facing the shock of dependency-abuse and other harsh or futile life failures!

A divided crew is a serious problem but a disfunctional leadership (i.e., among the ships officers) is in terms of Navigation ... simply and obviously dangerous! But in reality, much of the correction and discipline that seems to be required and called for in a family's life is often far more a matter of family self-discipline versus disorganisation and many of the problems are a result of the parents failing or falling -short of finding or maintaining parental unity. When parents fail to have clear goals and fail to agree on their plans of action - their children suffer with all sorts of insecurities, a sense of inadequacy and they are often led along a pathway of unhappiness that leads to seemingly irrational "attention getting."

The solution? For one thing, at least, a simple decision to hold regular parental "pow wows" - these can make all the difference. Communication is not some secret mysterious, so-called, trick of psychology. Communication , though only a part of the equation, is vital and happily a simple task of talking, of listening and of compromising with each other while also trying to yield to true Truth.

As a "Life-Hacker" I would suggest a:  "Time-In" Meeting with your spouse - once a week to (i.) plan, (ii.) think and (yes, iii.) to pray together ... all this just for your children. This 45+ minutes-a-week "Time-In" meeting ⋆⋆begins by serious goal setting and reviewing. Then "Time-In" should be used to organise or 'block time' and give attention to prioritising your family's "quality and quantity" times together. These "Times-In" can even find unity and action plans to direct their correction in a manner that is mutually acceptable and thus mutually "do-able."

The "Time-In" meetings should allow sufficient opportunities for both spouses to discuss their children's current situation, to give thought to their personal needs and ... to be sure both parents are agreed as to any "action plans." Care needs to be given to insure each child is receiving the personal & family attention they need.

By the way: the more consistent you are about putting "Time-In," the less time will be involved in telling your children to take "time-out." [drMSBsr]  ◀

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Marc, I think this post is extremely relevant and I enjoyed your comments on this issue. Parenting and what to do and what not to do is such a hot topic,especially with all the irrelevant psychology aspects that are focused on in child rearing. Thank you for your work in the Ministry!